Green Eggs and Spam

So, I usually get the regular run of the mill crap in my spam box. People leaving “Hey, I like this blog! Buy my shit!” type comments. Very uninteresting. But, in the 435 spam comments I’ve recieved in the past year, there have been a few that stand out – and they’ve been getting better lately! In the spirit of a lazy Monday, following a busy weekend (read: very little WoW time) I don’t have much to talk about, so I’ll do a lazy ass meta post.
There seems to be a trend in “feel good comments.” I guess the spam filters are getting more and more clever, and being able to filter out web addresses put into the comment itself. So, the workaround is to put an innocuous comment and then have your name link back to somewhere that you’re selling things.

Polite Computer Guys 1 and 2: “This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read.. .. – Computer.Dood@computerstore.com” (I got this post twice, from two different user names. It was spam blocked the first time! Thanks for playing, though.)

Polite Console Gamer Person: “Your blog is so informative … ..I just bookmarked you….keep up the good work!!!! – XBOXshitforsale@gmail.com” (Not a console gaming website, but good idea on the cross-niche marketing!)

Polite Sales Lady: “Really nice posts. I will be checking back here regularly. – SalesLady@wikipedia.com” (Wikipedia???)

greeneggs1

Then there’s the more blatant sellers. Some of whom are not obviously native English speakers, lending inadvertant entertainment to my spam-checking activities.

Buy My Book Lady: “OMG you are a great writer! You might want to check out my book. You can buy my autobiography on almost any website that sells books, just search for ISBN # ________ – BookLady@newblogwithoneadvertisingpost.com” (Congratz on using the search WordPress tags and finding “books” here. I did check out the ISBN. It’s really real book but I have *no* idea what it’s about, the author has left a crazy breathless runon comment on Amazon that does not in any way make me want to read her book. Sorry.)

Game Hacker: “Best choice of the week about Crack, Vdts crack, Chem3d crack and War3tft_117a_english crack here http://crack.notakeylogger.iswear.comCrackerHackerNotAKeyLogger@honestly.com” (I was tempted to check this one out and see exactly what cracks were available, but I doubt it’s anything interesting. And I like my keys.)

greeneggs2

And where would a Warcraft blog be without the goldspammers? Ahhh, goldspammers. So much enterainment, so little time. (Bonus points for the broken english.)

Gold Spammer: “used to be? hardcore in wow. but you guys actually farm them yourself? you should check out http://www.ohgodmykeys.comGoldKeySpamLogger@mwahaha.com” (You keep using that punctuation mark. I don’t think it means what you think it means.)

I do honestly feel bad for these guys, because I know that they’re often regular people just trying to make money for their families. I know my job sucks sometimes, but at least I don’t have to spend all day searching for Warcraft related stuff and leaving my Goldspammer droppings everywhere. Which is why I don’t abuse in-game spammers. I just report them. (Also because they’re often automated – no point in abusing a bot.)

The runner up for best spam comment ever is this one, from a foreign interest:

LadyRussia: “Блог отличный. Вручить бы Вам награду за него или просто орден почета. =) – imanokov@CheapComputers.ru” (I plugged that into Babel Fish and got: “[Blog] is outstanding. To entrust to you reward for it or is simple the order of the honor.” Why, thanks! I’m still not going to buy your Eastern Bloc rip off computer equipment.)

GreenEggs3

But, the best spam I have ever gotten (to date) is this:
Pr0nD00d: “Best choice of the month: Creampie, Clit creampie, Creampie mpg and Vagina creampie http://pr0n.popupsatwork.loseyourjob.com/” (I can’t wait to see my search terms now.)

How did that guy even find this place??

Talk to me about your spam comments – I’m a pretty small fish in a pretty big blogging fishbowl, other people must be getting much,much more interesting things than I am.

9 Comments

  1. Larísa said,

    October 5, 2009 at 11:28 am

    I hardly ever get any! Not annoying, nor interesting. Nothing. I’ve had gold seller once or twice. That’s all. Blogger has its limitations, but they’re good at keeping the spam away.

    • Oriniwen said,

      October 5, 2009 at 1:51 pm

      These all ended up in my spam bin, but they’re too entertaining not to share!

  2. kyrilean said,

    October 5, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    Those are pretty good! :)

    I get a lot of “This is a great forum!” comments. Since when is my blog a forum?

  3. Gevlon said,

    October 6, 2009 at 5:15 am

    I keep getting them and found them simply annoying. I tried to make fun of them on the blog, but I couldn’t make up a funny post. Only if I could came up with I”www.ohgodmykeys.com” and all the other addresses.

    PS: I also love you for linking me Plants vs Zombies. I’m now in the HC endgame trying to survive gargantaurs.

    • Oriniwen said,

      October 6, 2009 at 10:31 am

      When I can’t think of anything intelligent to write, mocking people is always a good option :) Most of the spam I get is just boring and annoying, but I got a few good ones lately, and felt the need to mock spam commenters in a public way.

      I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying PvZ. Everyone I’ve reccomended it to becomes utterly addicted to it. Gargantaurs need a good combination of freezing melons, hot peppers and asploding cherries. My problem is they always pitch their little imps onto my cob cannons, and the imps nomnomnom the cob cannons so fast :(

      • Gevlon said,

        October 7, 2009 at 5:43 am

        Tip: the imps always land on the third row. Don’t put cob cannon’s to the third, but some single plant with pumpkin defense. I keep my cobs on the water.

  4. gnomeaggedon said,

    October 6, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I love babblefish… I have so many to translate.

    I am going to feel really sorry for the legitimate commenter that comes from the *.ru domain, because no matter how complimentary or genuine their comment looks, I am faster on the spam button than I am on the instant pyroblast

  5. Brenden said,

    October 25, 2009 at 12:06 am

    I get a tonne of them, you gave me the idea to run the russian ones through babelfish, this is what I got:

    I with you am agreeable according to the large calculation. Simply it seems certain that they compulsorily should be isolated with something made of the overall mass. But how to be separated, this no longer is important. http://www.failspam.com – occurs still useful)

    and

    You write well, it signed to [fid] Well type steeply, this your failspam.com!

    I wonder how many million blogs they have to spam before anyone would believe it. Cheers for the laugh and the good idea,

    Brenden


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