Showing No Patience, Tolerance or Restraint.

So, the past came back to haunt me with a vengence this weekend.

While I was away, some guild drama raised its ugly head and I was only able to deal with it peripherally. I trust my officers, though, and it seemed to me that they did a good job of dealing with things and making sure the aggrieved parties were satisfied. At least, that’s how it seemed to me at my distant remove up in the tarry wastelands.

I won’t go into the gory details, but like many high-profile, high-drama issues it was based on misunderstandings cause by a lack of commincation and an overabundance of petty emotions like selfishness and jealousy. It took me the better part of the afternoon to talk some sense into the parties invloved. I was upset to see some of the people using petty techniques to evoke sympathy as a way to distract attention from their poor behaviour. I was on the other hand very please to see the accused party behaving very rationally and very generously. Nothing makes a false accuser look worse than when you graciously apologise.

As if that wasn’t eenough, the Drama Rama weekend continued into Monday. One of my officers has spent the better part of the last year dealing with various health and family issues, as well as personal inclinations and with all those things combined has managed to raid with us maybe once every other month. He is online maybe once a week for an hour or so and has in the end contributed to the guild very little. This is partially not his fault, and in the past when his life was more settled he was a very active member and leader, so we were happy to see him when he could be on, but we didn’t count him into our active plans and preparations for Wrath, because his time commitment to the guild was so unreliable.

As part of our plans for Wrath we divided the classes into two groups and assigned each group to an officer. They will oversee those classes as they gear and gem and enchant and raid until Wrath, and then do all the forum homework and legwork and research and keep on top of what’s what with those classes as we get into WotLK and head to 80. The class that my disgruntled officer plays was assigned to another officer, and that was what caused the fallout. My unhappy officer refused to take any direction or adivce ever (even though none was offered) from the officer who had been chosen to oversee his class and resigned in both protest and poutiness.

Now, I could see if the appointed officer went to the upset one and said “lol u suck. lrn2play n00b” or some nonsense like that. But no one did. My ex-officer is very competant and very good at his class, and does well enough with his spec and gear, even though it’s not the ideal raiding one. No one has any issues with the way he plays. The thing is he didn’t even enter my mind when I was dividing up the classes, because he’s just never around. His life is so unsettled that he can’t make any firm time commitments, and while I don’t hold that against him in any way shape or form, the bottom line is I can assign duties to him and expect them to be done. I just can’t.

It’s not been an overly fun weekend for me. I’ve been upset and tired and dealing with all this childishness and not been really able to enjoy my game. I havn’t even had the enthusiasm to play Horde as an escape and my mind has been in such turmoil that I havn’t been able to even get my thoughts in order enough to blog properly. I’m angry at these three people, my two raiders and my ex-officer for being so selfish and so immature and putting my guild through so much trouble. And I’m frustrated with people in general for being so damn self-centered.

I know that you will find impossible and selfish people wherever you are. Azeroth feels like an escape, like a fantasy wonderland some days, but it’s not. Not really. It’s just a microcosm, a small but representative subset of the people and personality types you will find in the world at large.

Doesn’t mean I have to like dealing with them.

4 Comments

  1. Larísa said,

    October 22, 2008 at 6:08 am

    It sounds like a nightmare, really. You seem to be dealing with it in the only way you can – with honesty, maturity and keeping a stable course, standing up for not always so comfortable decisions.

    As you say Azeroth isn’t always the escape from selfishness and trouble we wish it would be. On the contrary. Sometimes I think people who’re having trouble in real life can’t face it that the game is no different. Sometimes you’re having bad luck, sometimes things ARE unfair, and you have to deal with it, be mature, and hope that things turn even in the long run. But since they have unrealistic expectations they don’t. They turn into children.

    I just wanted to send you a big hug and some thoughts of sympathy. I hope, or rather I know, you’ll sort it all out eventually. You seem to be that kind of guild leader.

  2. Aleathea said,

    October 22, 2008 at 7:27 am

    Having been through similar situations I can sympathize. There were days when my husband and I (co-GM’s) wanted to quit entirely and wash our hands of the whole mess. The thing that got us through those moments was our friends. We’d get together with a few good budies and run some heroics or level alts. Taking a few hours off from “guild leadership” and just enjoying our friend’s company left us feeling refreshed and helped us remember why we play. In my experience, these things always work out in time. Hang in there! /hug

  3. October 22, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Your text came in a good time for me.

    These situations (the kind of people acts you described), people taking WoW so serious, along with a lot more of reasons made me stop WoW at last🙂

    Anyway, as you pointed this can happen anytime, in any place. It just makes sad people taking a game so serious like that.

    Regards!

  4. Indigo said,

    October 22, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    I generally try to stay out of guild drama, and I’m lucky enough to not be an officer so I can avoid it for the most part, but like most people I’ve been there for enough spontaneous guild combustions to know how horrid it can be. I’m sorry things are like that for you at the moment.


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