Bitch, Bitch, Bitch.

So, I’m going to complain. I’m going to whine, to QQ, to make a big stink and kick up a fuss. I know the world isn’t perfect, I know life isn’t fair, I know not everything is made of sunshine and rainbows and I know full well that no one (other than my mother) is under any obligation to be nice to me for any reason whatsoever. In the end, I’m an adult, I’m in charge of my own life, responsible for my own actions and should ultimately have the final say in what my own feelings are.

Be that as it may.

I’m a flawed human being. I have days where nothing goes right. Where everyone’s head looks like an excuse for batting practice, where the world is against me and everything I touch turns to shit. Now I know that’s not carte blanche to take it out on the world around me, I know that’s not a license to scream and yell at everyone who crosses my path and I know that just because I had a thoroughly miserable day at work doesn’t mean I can get in a raid and tear someone a new one.

Be that as it may.

When you screw up in a raid (or in some other manner relating to my guild) I will be patient. I will be understanding. I will try to gently and clearly and non-judgementally explain to you what you did wrong, why it was wrong, what effect it had on the rest of the guild and how you can do better next time you’re in that situation. I do indeed know the rules to conflict resolution. Hell, I wrote them.

Be that as it may (again).

When you consitantly do the same stupid, ignorant, lazy or rude action over and over with no signs of remorse, with no attempt to understand the effects of your actions on your guild and/or it’s raid, when you act like a spoiled, whiny, self-centered baby, when you think the raid revolves around you or when you behave like a complete and utter hypocrite, you’re going to hear it from me. And you may hear it loudly. You may hear it at length. You may hear it with the kind of curse words that will make the paint peel off your headphones.

Now if your over-inflated ego allows you to get so butthurt over me calling you out for being a jackass, that you feel the need to tell me that I’m “just being a bitch” or “need to go get some dick” or that I’m a “pathetic failure of a guild leader” or “being disrespectful” or god forbid “over reacting” then you can get the hell out. Out of my raid, off of my vent server and out of the guild if needs be.

I will take a lot of shit and abuse, it’s my job as a guild leader. I will listen to you whine about how someone hates you and stole your loot. I will listen to you whine about how someone hates you and deliberately ignores you. I will listen to you cry that your undergeared BFF can’t get into raids. I will be sympathetic when you think that the someones friend/brother/cousin/wife/family member gets to come to raids because of who they are not how they play. I will listen patiently and make soothing noises to all of your silly complaints and tribulations. I will do likewise for your genuine concerns and I will do everything in my power to make this guild as friendly and successful for everyone in it as I and the other officers (and raiders!) can do.

But when the carrot fails, and you get the stick – suck it up and find your game face. If you have the gall to abuse me when you finally cross the line and get torn the new asshole you so patently deserve then you need to stop and think about what you’re actually doing. To your fellow raiders and to your leadership. I’m not a punching bag. I’m not your dumping ground for all of your shit and abuse. I have a job to do – and that is to look out for the whole guild, not just your unique and special butterfly self. If you can’t handle that part of being on a team is having someone to dish out the lumps to those who won’t toe the line, then you need to rethink your team skills. You need to look beyond the end of your own selfish nose and thank your lucky stars that you’re not the one who has to take on the responsibility of not only listening to the whine and the QQ but the real concerns, to sift through everything and sort out the honest mistakes from the asshattery, to tell someone they can’t raid, to tell someone they need to find a new guild, to make sure that everyone gets everything they want all of the time, that everyone plays nicely with everyone else and that each individual player gets the most out of their $15 every month.

Guild Leading is my job here in the WoW universe. I don’t expect you to kiss my ass, I don’t expect you to feel bad for me because my job is sooooooo hard, I don’t even expect you to like me. I do however expect you to respect me as a human being and I do ask you to realize that who I am is seperate from the Guild Leader (with a capital G and L) that I need to be.

Post Scriptum: If this post offends you, because of the language I understand and I’m sorry. If this post offends you because you don’t think I (or anyone who takes this sort of stance) is doing a good job at guild eading – I don’t care. If you think I’m being the same sort of whiny baby that I’m bashing in this post – well, maybe I am. But it’s my blog so I can QQ here all I like.

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14 Comments

  1. You Know Who said,

    February 18, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    For a minute there, I thought I was in trouble.

  2. February 18, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    “Now if your over-inflated ego… out of the guild if needs be.”

    For the sake of not repeating the quotes, I’m leaving them out, but if those things were really said to you, that’s grossly uncalled for. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, and while that’s sometimes prone to make people explode (I get pissed off all the time, and it’s not my raid’s fault, but sometimes it’s that LAST goddamn straw…), that’s not license for people to be derogatory or disrespectful of your gender. I’d say you’re well within your rights to give them a final warning, or a /gkick. That kind of attitude is bullshit.

    With that in mind, when I finally invent the device that will allow you to punch someone in the face through your monitor, I’ll be sure to send you a free one. ^_^ I’m sure you’ll find it wonderfully cathartic.

  3. Valkure said,

    February 18, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Say it louder. 🙂

    I think you’re my new hero for so brilliantly putting all the frustration, stress and pure rage of raid leading and guild leadership into such eloquent words. And I second the comment that if a disagreement becomes derogatory, those jerks need to gtfo. They can take responsibility for the trash that comes out of their mouth and deal with the consequences.

  4. oriniwen said,

    February 18, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    @ YKW: I did recieve a very sincere apology for the comment from last night’s raid. I was pissed off at the time, I’m not now. It still made a good addition to my list of “abuse I’ve suffered at the hands of the unwashed masses.”

    @ PixEx: I’ll take two, and give you a good commission too! Also – WTB more Katafray project!

    @ Valkure: Thank you, I tried. I do get frustrated sometimes, and I wanted to talk about it in a non-QQ, non-whiny, non-oh-woe-is-me sort of way. I’m not a perfect guild leader, I do lose my temper sometimes but I also feel sometimes a little tough loving is needed. Maybe the world really *is* all sunshine and rainbows, I don’t know – every dictator can justify their actions by saying “I thought it was best for my people”, can’t they?

  5. February 18, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    I know! I want to get back into Katafray project, but I still need to scoot over to ThoBro and get Asrai to 10. I know that Sean and Jess are probably seething at me, but between all the projects I’m working on and my responsibilities as a raid lead, it’s been tough dedicating the time. I’m going to try to get it done this weekend, and hopefully the project will pick up again.

    As far as talking about things in a non-QQ/non-whiny/non-I’m-going-to-detonate-your-SOUL way, there are some days when you just need to vent. Holding it all in is bad for the blood pressure.

  6. You Know Who said,

    February 19, 2009 at 12:23 am

    The fact that you think he was sincere worries me. I mean, for serious. He told you what you wanted to hear so he didnt get the fucking boot. He should be gone several times over, and yet, he’s still there, leading the Bads ever onward.

    He’s the lead albatross hanging from our collective necks. He and his flock are keeping us down, and their antics of needing to lrn2play will fuck us in ulduar. This I can guarantee. If he and his crew cant do Naxx25 right, how will they be able to do *real* content properly?

    Arent you sick of hearing “I died again, and why did I die? It wasnt *my* fault, it was a healer not healing, a tank not picking them up, or I didnt have buffs for trash, especially kings. must have kings for trash. buuuuuffffssss foooooorrrr traaaaaaassshhh” or his *constantly* talking over the raid leader, like *he’s* the raid leader, in his broken english? If I hear “Im furry spec” again, Im going to enable Operation: stab ignorant fuck in the eye via the internet. If you cant pronounce a spec, you dont get to be it. Did you hear him call plague wing “plaque wing”? facepalm.jpeg

    I could elaborate more, but I think Ive shat all over your blog enough. You know where to find me if you want the rest of my opinion. You’d think that someday, I’d learn to Just Not Comment Here, to save you reading more failure than you have to.

  7. Esdras said,

    February 19, 2009 at 3:47 am

    That kind of attitude annoys me, ITS A GAME and we play for fun dont we?

    The reason i stopped raiding at 70 was because the guild i was in became a bit more hardcore and introducesed DKP and where as raiding before was a bit like being in the pub with your mates it became a bit like being in a classroom with a teacher and pupils.

    Some people take it too seriously.

  8. Yakra said,

    February 19, 2009 at 6:34 am

    @Esdras

    Yes, but for some people, succeeding in a raid is what is fun. When one person decides to slack/screw as their idea of “fun” – it can infringe on the other 9/24 people.

    This is why different guilds exist – so that you can find one that fits the level of effort/seriousness your willing to put in. Don’t knock other guilds, just because they have members with a different idea of fun.

  9. February 19, 2009 at 9:24 am

    @YKW – “Constantly talking over the raid leader…”

    This is exactly why I have arranged to have moderator access to the guild’s vent. If they don’t shut up, I’ll move ’em.

  10. oriniwen said,

    February 19, 2009 at 9:41 am

    @ YKW: Talking over the raid leader is something I will get Iron Paw to show me how to fix with vent keybinds and stuff. It *is* getting out of hand, and I’ve called the perpetrator to task more than once.

    I’ll take the insincere apology. It’s better for my blood pressure. I don’t think our vocal Furry Warrior is the root of all that is bad in Imposs, but I do agree that his “lol this is ezmode” stance is hindering us. And I’ve told him that before. I’ll prolly have to tell him that again.

    As for the ESL debate – well if you have something new to add since the last time we talked, let’s talk again 🙂 And your comments liven the blog up!

    @ Esdras: If you mean YKW’s attitude – you’ll have to take that up with him. If you mean my attitude, I can’t really apologise for it. I’m more than willing to admit that I take this Just A Game more serious than some – but it’s my hobby and somethign I’m passionate about. When I get the “it’s just a game” thrown at me, I like to say “Well, so are professional sports. And most people only *watch* those games, they don’t even play them, and we all know what crazy rabid sports fans can be like.”

    @ Yakra: You’re exactly right. Imposs is not by any stretch of the imagination a ‘hardcore’ guild. The only thing I ask of people is that when they *do* come to raids, they have the respect for the time and effort of their friends around them to do their very best in that raid. I don’t think that’s hardcore, I don’t think that’s ‘taking things too seriously’ and I don’t think that’s asking the world of folks. But if you just want to PvP or RP or level an alt or raid at a slower, more relaxed pace and environment than Imposs – there’s loads of guilds out there that could be perfect for you.

    @ PixEx: I’ve tossed people into another vent channel who yabber too much – but then they don’t hear what the raid leader is saying. It’s possible to have a keybind in Vent that mutes everyone when a moderator is talking, but we havn’t managed to get it working. Like I said, I’ll ask our tech support to look into it – again, for us Vent n00bs 🙂

  11. February 19, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Mute is all well and good, but if they’re talking over you in the middle of a strat discussion or an update, they’re not listening to you anyway. It’s a personal choice, though – I’d rather let them die to the Heigan Dance. Maybe they’ll learn through repair bills to shut up the next time the raid lead talks. 😉

  12. Shieke said,

    February 20, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    I have an idea! How about every time someone talks over you in vent, all of the officers not currently talking in vent whisper the person with the same phrase, that that it’s a wall of text on their screen. You know, something like:

    “STFU when the RL/GM is talking or we’re booting you from the raid!”

    or…

    “STFU when the RL/GM is talking or we’ll stab you in the eye with your mascara!”

    or…

    “STFU when the RL/GM is talking or we’ll feed you to YKW!”

    …<3! 😀 I could go on for days if you want me to.

  13. candy said,

    February 23, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    hear hear! I wish all guild leaders would grab issues like these by the horns.

  14. HP said,

    March 17, 2009 at 9:26 am

    you just summarized very eloquently why there is drama in wow =X I have to say I agree as I’ve seen many of the examples you listed first hand. Your post makes me doubly glad I am not in guild leadership anymore.


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