My Mother Was Right

So, you know those those pithy sayings your mother is always spewing at you while you’re growing up? Things like “eat all your vegetables” and “don’t sit so close to the TV, you’ll go blind” and “you’ll understand when you’re older” and “get that out of your mouth! Dear god where did you even get that?”

(Ok, so maybe I was the only kid who felt they could eat their way through the natural world. And for the record, basalt pebbles go down nicer than sandstone ones.)

Of all the pearls of wisdom my mother tried to instill in my developing mind two of them stand out the most. The first being “you’ll appreciate your family more when you’re grown.” I was the typical rebellious teenager, dressing in tattered clothes and listening to angry loud music. (Why does every generation think they invented rebellion and know that this time, The Man really is against them?) I hated being forced to spend time with my hopelessly clueless parents, my annoying and generally dirty and/or boogery younger cousins and my tag-along younger sisters. Now that I’m older and I’m away from home and family for long stretches of time, I appreciate my family so much more. I’m thrilled to see my sisters, I lurk on Facebook longing for snippets of information about my cousins and their families and my mother is one of my closest friends. Who knew she was right all along?

The second thing she told me is that “the grass is always greener on the other side.” It really, really is. I’m the type of person who if you tell me that I absolutely cannot have something, I develop an insatiable, consuming desire for that thing above all else. My life is not complete until I get my hands on that forbidden fruit. This is something I know about myself and that I can take steps to deal with when I feel that familiar “zomg gotta HAVE IT!” feeling creeping in. It could be my ongoing attempts to not sabotage my diet and eat an entire bag of pecan snacks, it could be telling myself that I absolutely have to stop surfing blogs and get some work done, it could be me telling myself that dawn on Sunday is way, way too late to be up and I should log off and get some sleep.

Hey, that's me!

When we were wrapping up our TBC raiding, I know that I was really wearied by healing. I was tired of healing, I was tired of thinking about healing, I was tired of reading about healing I was tired of feeling like healing was my job, my only contribution to the guild and that I was obliged to do nothing else but. I barely saw any boss fights in TBC, I was too busy watching green bars bounce up and down. I would spare a glance now and then at a boss and imagine myself filling it so full of arrows it looked like a pine tree. I would prowl WWS and imagine that I was looking at dps stats instead of healing stats. I longed to pewpew. I really do enjoy healing, but I just passed a limit there at the end of TBC. I was done.

I switched my main to my hunter when WotLK came out. It was not (by far!) an easy decision to make and actually ended up setting me on a very rocky road to start my Northrend experience. I flew through quest content, exhilarated to be able to do things without a meat shield. Just me and my pet, the way WoW was meant to be. I wriggled like a happy puppy the first WotLK raid I finished. There I was, topping the dps charts! Look at me go! Listening to the thwap thwap auuuugh! noises that trash and bosses alike make when they are faced with the awesomeness that is my dps! It was glorious.

And then came the hunter theorycrafting. The tweaking of specs, of pets, of shot rotations. The responsibility of being not just a dps but a dps that is determined to excell. Raid consumeables are raid consumeables, whether your buff food gives you MP5 or agility, and they suck to farm either way. Raid mechanics and positioning that at first were a whole new world when seen through my dps glasses have since become routine and boring. I took a bit of a break and started leveling my priest.

I dinged her to 80 and have been healing heroics and a few Naxx10 runs. I have found my love for healing again. I like standing in the back, I like watching green bars. I like that feeling of being important and needed and not just another number on the charts. I like wearing pretty dresses and wielding sexy maces. I’m starting to get a longing to collect some of the T7.5 gear and there is always the promise of that legendary mace on the horizon. I’m starting to want to raid more and more on my priest and I’m wondering if I need to go so far as to switch my main again.

So is the dps grass greener than the healing grass? Or is it just a trick of the light, looking the same no matter which side of the fence I’m on? I love huntering. Love love love love it. It’s my first choice when it comes to playing and I know it will always be the thing I want to do the most. But healing is a close second. I love healing, I’m really loving priest healing and I hope that I can find a way to fit that love into my guild’s raiding schedule. I think that if I can balance myself properly where I don’t feel trapped into one role I won’t feel like some other role is my forbidden fruit. I also know that if I can do a little of both healing and dps, I won’t get burnt out on either. And in the end, if I’m not wearied by my roles, not feeling trapped or cornered, not feeling like I’m just here to do a job but to contribute in a unique way, then I’m happy.

The grass on both sides is equally green as long as I’m bringing something to the guild.

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5 Comments

  1. Tigerfeet said,

    March 5, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    Gyuh, but how do you wrap your mind around the equality of the green-ness of both sides when you haven’t (nor shall ever) had the opportunity to sample from the other side? There’s the trick 😦

    Oh, and I haven’t found a successful diet until I focused on eating healthy things (as opposed to avoiding unhealthy things). When I’m full on healthy stuff the unhealthy stuff just isn’t much of a temptation anymore.

  2. Esdras said,

    March 6, 2009 at 5:23 am

    I was kind of in the same boat i loved healing and being a dwarf but also loved shadow so i rolled my alt as a dwarf pally and i love him.

    Also with duel spec i get best of all words by having a tank, dps and healer.

  3. Yakra said,

    March 6, 2009 at 7:10 am

    I don’t think I’ll ever eat my fill of tanking. Maybe its one to many hits to the head…

  4. Elleiras said,

    March 9, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    Totally random response inspired by your first parenthetical aside:

    My dad ate a worm (kind of) when he was a kid. He dug up an earthworm, PUT IT ON HIS TONGUE (ew ew ew) and ran to show his mom by sticking his tongue out at her. I don’t think she ever entirely recovered.

  5. oriniwen said,

    March 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    @ Tigerfeets: Take my word for it 🙂 And I’ve lost almost 30lbs of my extra WoW-butt by doing exactly that. It works!

    @ Esdras: Dual spec is like the bestest thing to happen to this game since evar!! Or at last since the dressing room 😉

    @ Yakra: I envy you that focus. I have the attention span of an avocado and I’m always interested in something different or something … hey keys! oooo shiney!

    @ Elleiras: That’s pretty gross, even for me. I ate a lot of rocks and plants and sticks, but I don’t think any critters! At least not intentionally …. and if that urban legend about swallowing over 7 spiders a year in your sleep is true …. *shudder*!


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