Green Eggs and Spam

So, I usually get the regular run of the mill crap in my spam box. People leaving “Hey, I like this blog! Buy my shit!” type comments. Very uninteresting. But, in the 435 spam comments I’ve recieved in the past year, there have been a few that stand out – and they’ve been getting better lately! In the spirit of a lazy Monday, following a busy weekend (read: very little WoW time) I don’t have much to talk about, so I’ll do a lazy ass meta post.
There seems to be a trend in “feel good comments.” I guess the spam filters are getting more and more clever, and being able to filter out web addresses put into the comment itself. So, the workaround is to put an innocuous comment and then have your name link back to somewhere that you’re selling things.

Polite Computer Guys 1 and 2: “This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read.. .. –” (I got this post twice, from two different user names. It was spam blocked the first time! Thanks for playing, though.)

Polite Console Gamer Person: “Your blog is so informative … ..I just bookmarked you….keep up the good work!!!! –” (Not a console gaming website, but good idea on the cross-niche marketing!)

Polite Sales Lady: “Really nice posts. I will be checking back here regularly. –” (Wikipedia???)


Then there’s the more blatant sellers. Some of whom are not obviously native English speakers, lending inadvertant entertainment to my spam-checking activities.

Buy My Book Lady: “OMG you are a great writer! You might want to check out my book. You can buy my autobiography on almost any website that sells books, just search for ISBN # ________ –” (Congratz on using the search WordPress tags and finding “books” here. I did check out the ISBN. It’s really real book but I have *no* idea what it’s about, the author has left a crazy breathless runon comment on Amazon that does not in any way make me want to read her book. Sorry.)

Game Hacker: “Best choice of the week about Crack, Vdts crack, Chem3d crack and War3tft_117a_english crack here” (I was tempted to check this one out and see exactly what cracks were available, but I doubt it’s anything interesting. And I like my keys.)


And where would a Warcraft blog be without the goldspammers? Ahhh, goldspammers. So much enterainment, so little time. (Bonus points for the broken english.)

Gold Spammer: “used to be? hardcore in wow. but you guys actually farm them yourself? you should check out” (You keep using that punctuation mark. I don’t think it means what you think it means.)

I do honestly feel bad for these guys, because I know that they’re often regular people just trying to make money for their families. I know my job sucks sometimes, but at least I don’t have to spend all day searching for Warcraft related stuff and leaving my Goldspammer droppings everywhere. Which is why I don’t abuse in-game spammers. I just report them. (Also because they’re often automated – no point in abusing a bot.)

The runner up for best spam comment ever is this one, from a foreign interest:

LadyRussia: “Блог отличный. Вручить бы Вам награду за него или просто орден почета. =) –” (I plugged that into Babel Fish and got: “[Blog] is outstanding. To entrust to you reward for it or is simple the order of the honor.” Why, thanks! I’m still not going to buy your Eastern Bloc rip off computer equipment.)


But, the best spam I have ever gotten (to date) is this:
Pr0nD00d: “Best choice of the month: Creampie, Clit creampie, Creampie mpg and Vagina creampie” (I can’t wait to see my search terms now.)

How did that guy even find this place??

Talk to me about your spam comments – I’m a pretty small fish in a pretty big blogging fishbowl, other people must be getting much,much more interesting things than I am.


A Loaf of Bread, A Jug of Wine

So, I like to drink quite a bit. I like to grab some friends and family and head down to my local and eat their delicious, delicious greasy food and drink beer and scotch until it comes out my ears. That is a fabulous time in my opinion. However, when we do such things, we usually take it in turn to decide who will be the responsible person for the evening – and it’s not so much fun when it’s me.

It’s not that I miss drinking, it’s that I hate having to shepherd and corral and manage 17 people who behave for all the world like small children. It’s wearying. It has its moments – seeing someone miss their mouth entirely and splot their drink in the centre of their shirts is (usually) well worth the hassle of spending the night herding people who are working on a three minute, closed-loop memory. (Where am I? How did I get here? Whose pineapple is this?)

The converse, however is pretty entertaining, too. Having one drunk person in a crowd of sober people can be quite a lot of fun. Well, for the sober people, I guess. I know that I sure enjoy teasing and laughing at (in a friendly way, of course) those people I know who are brave (or foolish) enough to come drunk to a sober gathering.

After I logged off on Saturday night (and well into the wee hours of Sunday morning) a guildie of mine (one of our tanks – a drunk tank! punny!) came home from a birthday party absolutely shittered – and decided the best thing to do was to get onto vent. While I am so very grateful that he made the decision to display his drunk ass for our entertainment, I’m even more indebted to the kind and clever soul who decided to record the vent conversation.

And post it on the forums.

Mondays being what they are, I was surly and miserable when I finllally oozed into the office. After I did all my normal Monday start up things, I checked the guild forums and decided to download the file. It was 58 minutes of absolute bliss. I laughed loud enough that a few people poked their heads into my cubicle to see just what the heck was going on. I was tempted to link the recordings here, but I don’t know how entertaining they’d be to people who don’t know the guild or recognize the voices. You’ll just have to trust me that listening to an absolutely plastered man with the Bostonian accent howling “heroic throw, heroooooic throoooowwwww” like an abandonded wolf pup is pretty much the bestest thing evar. It was exactly what I needed first thing in the morning. It’s exactly what I need a lot of the time.

I know this may make me sound like Nerdly McNerderson, Mayor For Life of Nerdtown, Nerdvania, but I was actually mopey when the recording was over. For a little while there, it was like being at home, online, (virtually) surrounded by my friends. A couple of times while I was listening, my fingers twitched a little, unconsciously typing /g in preparation to reply to something I heard. It wasn’t just that my guildies were having fun laughing at our very very drunk warrior tank (they made a drinking game out of his drunken ramblings. If he says “what planet am I on?” – everybody drinks! If he says “I’m soooo hammahhed” – everybody drinks!) but that they were together and having fun. I love that so, so much about my guild. I love the way that I feel like a part of a community – a family almost (OMG someone call the cliche police!)

For all they drive me bugnutz insane sometimes, I really do love my guild. Actually, I think that’s why they have the power to make me so crazy – and to cut me so deeply. I care for them so much, and that means that I leave myself very vulnerable to being hurt by their indifference or their scorn.

Drak, Sora, Undi, Chiclet, Jett, Ama, Thunder and everyone who was online – I enjoyed your company on Monday morning. Impossibilium – I quite honestly and truly love you guys.


So, today is the Autumnal Equinox and I was trying to come up with some deep way of connecting the idea of the balance between night and day and the balances between Horde and Alliance and maybe work in some waffle about the factions transfers and how they’re affecting recruitment and all that good stuff.

Then I thought, fuck it, it’s Monday and my brain isn’t even nearly ready to deal with that nonsense. Plus, nothing I could write would compete with Jov and Seri’s Big Day!

So here are some pictures from my pirate misadventures this weekend, instead. YARRR!

Eqqie and I meet some oddly dressed folks in Stormwind

Eqqie and I meet some oddly dressed folks in Stormwind

I see a ship in the harbour

I see a ship in the harbour

I obtain the proper Pirate Acessories. I shall call you Squawkers McCaw.

I obtain the proper Pirate Acessories. I shall call you Squawkers McCaw.

I spend some time going all Fangirl on two very famous pirates.

I spend some time going all Fangirl on two very famous pirates.

I meet up with the Dread Captain and her First Mate. The grog is flowing freely by now.

I meet up with the Dread Captain and her First Mate. The grog is flowing freely by now.

Thar she blows! KA-BOOOM!

Thar she blows! KA-BOOOM!

I get my dance on with the Dread Crew

I get my dance on with the Dread Crew

I meet some new friends. There were all shades of pirates there.

I meet some new friends. There were all shades of pirates there.

I have a bit too much grog and stumble off the roof into the harbour. Likely a good thing, before I got too disorderly and they made me walk the plank.

I have a bit too much grog and stumble off the roof into the harbour. Likely a good thing, before I got too disorderly and they made me walk the plank.

A good time was had by all! I headed back home to rest up for Brewfest – these alcoholidays are tough on the system!


So the poo dood came by the geo laydown yesterday. Not to get too scatalogically correct, but the essence of the matter is we have a port-a-potty out in the yard and every now and then some poor bugger (the aforementioned “poo dood”) comes by with a Jesus big vac truck and sucks all the effluvia out. It’s a thoroughly nasty job, and I’m glad I don’t have to do it, but I’m always happy to see him, because that means I’ll have a day or two where the port-a-potty doesnt smell so bad it would gag a plague rat. He needs to come by more often.

But the various and sundry gurgling, blurbling and other disturbing liquid-y noises coming from the yard distracted me from trying to think if I could have a facies transition from shore face to estuarine without any evidence of a tidal zone in between (short answer: no) and lead me to start thinking about poo. Specifically poo in the World of Warcraft.

Now I’ve called Burning Crusade many things. The World of Rangedcraft (hell *yes* my hunter can dps); The Shit Talk Expansion (shut *up* Magtheridon! SHUT UP!); and of course The Poo Expansion. I will direct your attention to two quests (sorry, both I believe are Alliance quests. I don’t have a Hordie in Outlands yes. Please lol at my fail. Ok you can stop now.) one in Hellfire Peninsula and one in Nagrand. While the adorable little quest that has you follow Fei Fei the dog around and find the “buried treasure” is not strictly about poo, per se, it does put one in mind of it. The other quest is the “dig through talbuk droppings” quest that gives you the unbeliveably delightful “poo cherry” quest reward. Poo cherries! And you eat them!

Now I enjoy some good toilet humour as much as the next person (ok, maybe more than the next person, but still …) and those two quests – especially the poo cherry one – left me in giggles. It was such enjoyable humour on Blizzard’s part, and I accessed both of those quests early on in my BC experience, so I was immediately charmed with the expansion! To me, Blizzard has made WoW about showcasing the sense of fun, the sense of play and childish delight in their work that their designers have. I could spend hours listing all of the fun things that are in WoW, the puns, the easter eggs, the toungue-in-cheek quest/NPC names. The exploding rocket chicken. A ROCKET CHICKEN!

When I head to the priest beta forums (or the QQ Club, as I think of them) I see a lack of humour. A lack of fun. Are we so mired in our theorycrafting and sundry that we don’t see the fun anymore? I generally enjoy my class and while I see that there has been a lack of developer attention to it so far, I’m not ready to reroll tree druid just yet. Why are there so many unhappy folks on these forums?

I will certainly have to admit, though, that my overall response to WotLK is a great big “meh”. Deathknights, meh. New priest talents, meh. Frozen stuff, meh! I want fun!

I want more fun items like the motorcycle and flying carpet mounts.
I want more fun pets like Mr Chilly the baby penguin.
I want more fun skills like Exotic Pets.

I just plain want more fun! And I want other folks to want more fun too. Why as I wade hip-deep in QQ and /wrists do I see only a single suggestion of how priests could be more fun? Not just better healers, or more useful raid spaces, but fun. (For the record, that one suggestion was that Holy Nova should have a knockback. Woo for more ways to fling folks off cliffs!). I want spell and talent balance, I want there to be a useful, proper and credible niche for my class and spec in lv 80 raids, but I want to enjoy it! I want to enjoy getting to 80 and when I’m there I want to enjoy the raids, too. I want more poo.

“Boycott shampoo. Demand the real poo!”